Have you always wondered, why me? Why are all the bad things happening to me? Why the world and everyone in it is against me? Why are people playing games? Why jokes are so easily made at my expense? Why me?
Let me start by saying this; don’t beat yourself up about it. It is something you learnt growing up. Yes, a victim mentality is something that is learnt and the good news is that it can be unlearnt. discussed below are some of the causes of victim mentality.
· Things that happened in your childhood
When you meet someone new, you know that they won’t like you or wouldn’t want to be your friend. This is because of a low self-esteem; it could be a cause of emotional, mental or physical abuse as a child. You forget to see your worth, because you weren’t taught how to have any.
· The story you tell yourself
You know you are going to end up resenting people. It’s a story you have made up in your head that this person will see your vulnerability and is going to exploit you in some way. You are going to be left feeling inferior, overwhelmed, fearful and might withdraw from meeting people and being expressive.
· You think they want to hurt you
You are a defensive person or you approach conversations from a defensive point of view. You already feel under threat, you already know what they are going to say is to hurt you and you might not be able to stand up for yourself or stand your ground.
· Helps you feel safe
You might desire excessive sympathy from others or you want them to feel sorry for you. This is the only way you might feel worthy of attention. This need to be deeply sympathized with helps you feel safe, helps you connect and tell the story.
· You are afraid of taking responsibility
It helps you take NO responsibility for things happening around you or to you. You are accustomed to living life passively therefore you are unable to make your own decisions or stand up for yourself and automatically become a victim. You feel taken advantage of and are rarely ever happy with the outcome of the circumstances in your life.
The reason for victim mentality lies in feeling constantly betrayed, abandoned and hurt. Whatever the reasons for victim mentality, it can always be unlearnt. I hope you find the courage to look within your past as to why you developed these behaviors and I hope you can work on them and become a better more independent you!
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